Friday, March 13, 2015



The majority of people in our day and age think that once a girl turns 18 years old that she should now be independent of the authority of her parents and ought to support herself.  

Yet, this is based on corrupted modern thinking.  

Not only is a daughter bound to obey her parents even after she becomes an adult, yet she should also remain with them unless she has a very good reason to leave.  

The reason for this is that women are naturally naive, are very prone to making emotional decisions and can put themselves in dangerous situations without even realizing it.  And if a woman tries to live independently away from the solid reasoning and protection of a trusted man (her father, as a first choice), she will not be shielded from these things and will easily go from bad to worse.

How many girls leave home as soon as they turn eighteen to live in the world by themselves?   

The numbers are countless!  

It has become a common thing, and hardly anyone thinks much about it.   

Yet, do we not often hear terrible stories of what has happened to so many of these once innocent girls? 

Women are naturally more prone to give into peer pressure and persuasion than men are.  This makes us more gullible and susceptible to being seriously influenced by the evils of the world.  For this reason, it was deemed right for thousands of years, that men should work to provide for their families while women remained at home in a safe and protected environment.  

Most women think of remaining at home as a sort of “imprisonment”, but it is actually the best means to protect us and keep us out of so many near-occasions of sin.  Besides this, it is also the best means for a woman to realize and cultivate the great gifts which God has given her  to be loving, nurturing, caring, and to provide support, comfort and compassion to those with whom she lives.

Here are a few examples of the dangers of living independently in the world, which we as women are all the more likely to fall into - since we are more emotionally weak and easily pressured than men are:

-1- Money, wealth and livelihood often become the main concern for those who go out to live by themselves in the world.  This then places God in the back of the mind, and the end result is that these people often lose their faith and morals.

-2- Foul and blasphemous language is very common in the world, especially these days, and the more we are around it the more likely we will be to use it ourselves.

-3- Many people discontinue going to Mass on Sundays, avoid the Sacraments and some even work on Sundays when they see so many others around them doing likewise.

-4- Those who live independently from their family often forget that they still owe honor, respect and obedience to their parents.  Yet, the 4th Commandment does not say, "Honor thy father and thy mother until thou art eighteen years of age." but rather "Honor thy father and mother." -period.

I think that Our Blessed Lord gave the best example of honor and obedience not being restrained by age, when he changed the water into wine at merely the suggestion of His Blessed Mother!  Besides this, did not He, who was God, submit completely, in perfect obedience, to His earthly parents for 30 years?  Therefore, we certainly have no excuse to do differently as soon as we turn eighteen!

-5- There are many dangers against purity in the world: the way people dress, act, speak, the music etc.  Besides this there are many perverted people out in the world waiting for any opportunity to defame an innocent and na├»ve woman who lives alone without others.  The more we are around them, the greater the chance that we shall be led astray by one bad habit or another in this regard.

-6- Sensuality and envy are such an integral part of society these days.  Much of the music, books, and conversations in the world are full of these things, putting them in a good light and not as the evils which they truly are, and these things tend to creep into our subconscious without our even hardly realizing it!

Some Other Thoughts to Consider:

Instead of trying to face the world ourselves, we should focus on comforting and supporting our fathers, brothers, and family members who are obliged to do so.  We should be there for them when they return from work, and help encourage them to remain faithful to God, the Church, His Commandments and His Church. 

Many of the reasons why so many marriages end in divorce, families are torn apart and they are set against each other is because we women overstep our place in life.  Us women, who have an independent way of thinking, often try to “run the show” and push the men in our lives to do what we think is best. 

This often makes a man grow bitter and he may not even tell us what is bothering him, because he thinks to himself, “What is the point of my expressing my thoughts to her if she will only argue with me until I give in to her wishes?” 

It is then that miscommunications and misunderstandings happen, and all happiness at home starts to fall apart.  For at this point, many men will try to find another avenue for peace and happiness.  If he cannot find peace with his wife at home, then he will find it spending gradually more and more time at work, in alcohol, in the TV, or even with another woman who is more according to his wishes.  All these things are terribly bad for him and the family, but they can only be remedied by us women properly performing our duties and responsibilities while praying and trusting in the help and assistance of God.

Another thing to consider is that, even though there might be some of us who may have a good excuse to find a job to help provide for our family’s needs; going into business world to do so only creates a terrible hole in our homes.  For, once we return from work, we are all too tired ourselves after facing the world to console, comfort or support anyone who may need it.  

God made families to have both a father and mother.  The father provides the physical necessities and leads in guiding the family spiritually, the mother helps him in these things, supports him in his undertakings, and provides emotional assistance for everyone. 

As both the functions of the head and heart are necessary to keep the body alive; so men’s duties and women’s duties are both necessary to keep the family from falling apart.  Yet, unlike how the proper utilities of the head and heart affect only one thing, the body, and keep it thriving; when men and women disregard their proper responsibilities they affect more than just their home life.

For, when the brain stops working the body becomes unhealthy, but when mankind stops being virtuous and playing his appropriate part; all of society becomes unstable.  In a similar manner: when the heart stops working the body completely dies, but when womankind stops seeking to grow in holiness and perform the duties she was created for; all of society completely collapses! 

For this reason, it is ever so important that we women, once again, find our appropriate place in the home, and do our part to restore proper life and order back to world!

Conclusion and Resolution

The primary reason that women seek to be independent is that we trust too much in ourselves rather than God.  If we trusted God more, we would certainly know our place and keep in mind the dangers of over-stepping ourselves and proudly trying to be independent of the help of others.  We will always have struggles everywhere that we go.  So, why seek them out all the more, by avoiding the help and assistance of those whom God has specifically put into our lives?

God has given most of us the grace to have trustworthy men in our lives to protect us and lead us correctly on the road to salvation.  Yet, if we do not trust that God knows best, and think that we know better in this matter, why would He continue to bless us with such great gifts? 

At times the devil will tempt us to question the ways of God, and tell us that we are strong enough to conquer everything by ourselves.  We must not listen to him.  Instead, we must resolve to never stop fighting the good fight - in a secure environment and thus avoid the many near occasions of sins which may present themselves to us if we live independently.

For girls or women who do not have parents, an uncle, or a brother would suffice, and where this is not possible, perhaps an aunt or grandmother.   At any rate, I certainly would not recommend for any lady to try to fight the world on her own - no matter her age.   I have only recently come to realize just how much we women really need help and protection to keep us straight. 

If more women sat down to think about it, and prayed to God for guidance and strength in this matter; I am sure that they too would be given the grace to understand these great mysteries, and the courage to persevere in becoming the heart of the home that God wishes them to be!

1 comment:

  1. It's so true about today's women and society, so terribly true. And it's still hard for us women to see that living at home isn't a weakness or vulnerability, but rather a gift from God. We blush when people know, try avoid telling other so as to protect their view of us, and yet we don't stop to think "Perhaps, Our Good Lord is protecting me from some harm that would befall me should I live alone." If we just stopped and thought more about His will, instead of the world's, how much easier would it be for us to accept our natural lot in life. Not saying it still wouldn't be hard sometimes, but when we accept God's will things automatically get easier, because we've now accepted the graces God's been trying to give us.