LOGIC AND SYMPATHY

INTRODUCTION

There have been quite a number of good and virtuous men who have come and gone out of my life.  Many of them have been like a father, an uncle, or a brother to me.  Others have been very close friends.

As helpful as these friendships have been to me throughout many troublesome times in my life, most of them eventually came to an end.

At first, I figured that this was due to the fact that I was too proud, stubborn, and selfish for people to be able to tolerate a friendship with me.  However, an acquaintance of mine recently recommended that I read a book, The Catholic Marriage Manual, written by George A Kelly in 1958 (containing an Imprimatur and Forward from Cardinal Francis Spellman).  This book helped me to understand the situation better and feel more at peace within myself.

It answered many of my questions as to why men and women often do not get along well, and what actions can be taken to remedy this problem.

Have you ever wondered why men and women fight and disagree so often with each other?

Have you ever wondered why there are more divorces and why there  are so many dysfunctional families in our day and age than in the past centuries?

If so, then read on...and hopefully the following information will help you to be more at peace with yourself and those in your life.


ADDRESSING THE PROBLEM

One of the causes is that men and women think differently, but our society refuses to admit it as a matter of fact.

With the dawn of the feminist movement, most women endeavored to prove to society that they could be equal and similar to men in every way possible.

Yet, they forgot something very important.

Not only are men and women different physically, but we also perceive and react to life in different ways.  

In fact, most people do not realize how much we misunderstand each other, and this confusion is one of the primary causes of stress and tension between us.  

It may be that we do not get along with a father, mother, brother, sister, husband, wife, or a close friend, but the story is always the same…

Men are inclined to base everything on reason, while women tend to base everything on emotion.

When a man is having trouble with something, all he wants to have is a logical remedy to solve his problems and this then makes him feel more at peace.

Yet, when women are upset, all we usually want is for someone to listen to us and to be sympathetic towards us.  Reasoning by itself generally does not help us to feel any better.

When a man sees a woman in trouble he generally tries to give her a manly solution to her problems by telling her how to fix it.  However, this does not usually satisfy her immediate needs.

A woman, on the other hand, often tries to help a man by listening to him and by showing him sympathy through distracting him or changing the subject.  When women do this, it only annoys men and makes them feel as if their problems are being brushed to the side, or not being addressed properly.

One thing that men cannot stand is a person who does not listen to logic, and this often makes men distance themselves from women.  However, most men do not realize that the primary cause for women acting unreasonably is that they feel that someone is not sympathetic towards them.  

Since women cannot stand men who are not sympathetic or willing to listen to their problems, they tend to nag the men in their lives almost to the point of death.  They do this in the attempt to obtain at least some sympathy. However, this badgering causes the majority of men to become very annoyed, and makes them distance themselves from unreasonable women all the more.

This becomes a continuous dilemma…

Men distance themselves from women when they are upset with them for being illogical, and women chase after men with broomsticks telling them to come back and listen!

It might sound like a funny comedy when expressed in this light, but we often miss the irony of the truth in our own lives unless we see it from the eyes of someone else.

In order to remedy this problem, men need to learn to be more sympathetic, for only then will the women in their lives stop nagging them and start listening to reason.

In a similar way, women need to be more reasonable, and stop nagging the men in their lives for attention, so that men will be more inclined to stop distancing themselves from women and give them the sympathy which they desire.


A FINAL NOTE

Virtuous men are more naturally sympathetic, and virtuous women are more likely to be logical.  

So, let us encourage everyone around us to grow in virtue.  

For, only then will we truly understand, appreciate, accept, and mutually help one another to become saints and live together in peace.