INTRODUCTION
Fr.
Faber in his book, Growth in Holiness,
explains how too much self-examination can be harmful to one’s soul. If we focus too much on the good we have done,
it can cause us become proud, vain and egotistical. On the other hand, too much self-analysis on
our faults and imperfections can cause us to become disheartened and bring us to
the depths of despair. However, Father
Faber says that “A certain amount of knowledge of our state is possible, desirable,
and even necessary, so long as it be desired moderately, and sought for
rightly. We need consolation in so
difficult and doubtful a battle.” Since
this is such an important but delicate matter, I will quote below a section from
his 1st chapter listing the 5 signs of our progress in the spiritual
life. I share this in the hope that it will
benefit those more melancholic souls who struggle between presumption and
despair.
Are
we getting on? There is not a well or a
palm to measure by; there is only sand and an horizon. Courage: here are five signs. If we have one of them, it is well; if two
better; if three, better still; if four, capital; if all the five, glorious.
1 –
If we are discontented with our present state, whatever it may be, and want to
be something better and higher, we have great reason to be thankful to
God. For such discontent is one of His
best gifts, and a great sign that we are really making progress in the
spiritual life. But we must remember
that our dissatisfaction with ourselves must be of such a nature at to increase
our humility, and not such as to cause disquietude of mind or uneasiness in our
devotional exercises. It must be made up
of a rather impatient desire to advance in holiness, combined with gratitude
for past graces, confidence for future ones and a keen, indignant feeling of
how much more grace we have received than we have corresponded to.
2 –
Again, strange as it may sound, it is a sign of our growth if we are always
making new beginnings and fresh starts.
The great St. Antony made perfection consist in it. Yet this is often ignorantly made a motive of
discouragement, from persons confounding fresh starts in the devout life with
the incessant risings and relapsings of habitual sinners. Neither must we confound these continual
fresh beginnings with the fickleness which so often leads to dissipation, and
keeps us back in our heavenward path.
For these new starts seek something higher, and therefore for the most
part something arduous; whereas fickleness is tired of the yoke, and seeks ease
and change. Neither again do these
beginnings consist in changing our spiritual books, or our penances, or our
methods of prayer, much less our directors.
But they consist in two things chiefly: first, a renewal of our
intention for the glory of God; and secondly, a revival of our fervor.
3 –
It is also a sign of progress in the spiritual life, when we have some definite
thing in view: for instance, if we are trying to acquire the habit of some
particular virtue, or to conquer some besetting infirmity, or to accustom
ourselves to a certain penance. All this
is a test of earnestness, and also a token of the vigour of divine grace within
us. Whereas if we are attacking no
particular part of the enemy’s line, it is hardly a battle; and if we are
shooting without an aim, what can come of it but smoke and noise? It is not likely we are advancing, if, as
people speak, we are going on in a general way, without distinctly selecting an
end to reach, and actively forcing our way to the end we have thus consciously
selected.
4 –
But it is a still greater sign that we are making progress, if we have a strong
feeling on our minds that God wants something particular from us. We are sometimes aware that the Holy Spirit
is drawing us in one direction rather than in another, that He desires some
fault to be removed, or some pious work to be undertaken. This is called by spiritual writers an
attraction. Some have one persevering attraction
all their lives long. With others it is
constantly changing. With many it is so
indistinct that they only realize it now and then; and not a few seem to be
without any such special drawing at all.
It implies of course an active self-knowledge, as well as a quiet inward
eye of prayer; and it is a great gift, because of the immense facilities which
it gives for the practice of perfection; for it almost resembles a special
revelation. To feel then, with all sober
reverence, this drawing of the Holy Ghost, is a sign that we are making
progress. Yet it must be carefully
remembered that no one should be disquieted because of the absence of such a
feeling. It is neither universal nor
indispensable.
5 –
I will venture also to add that in increased general desire of being more
perfect is not altogether without its value as a sign of progress: and that, in
spite of what I have said of the importance of having a definite object in view. I do not think we esteem this general desire
of perfection sufficiently. Of course,
we must not stop at it nor be satisfied with it. It is only given us to go on with. Still, when we consider how worldly most good
Christians are, and their amazing blindness to the interests of Jesus, and
their almost incredible impenetrability by supernatural principles, we must see
that this desire of holiness is from God, and a great gift, and that much which
is of surpassing consequence is implied in it.
God be praised for every soul in the world which is so fortunate as to
possess it! It is almost inconsistent
with lukewarmness; and this is no slight recommendation in itself: and although
there is much beyond it and much above it, yet it is indispensable both to what
is beyond and what is above.
Nevertheless, we must not be blind to its dangers. All supernatural desires, which we simply enjoy
without practically corresponding to them, leave us in a worse state than they
found us. In order to be safe, we must
proceed without delay to embody the desire in some act or other, prayer,
penance, or zealous deed: yet not precipitately, or without counsel.
Here
then are five fairly probably signs of progress, and none of them so far above
our heads as to be unpractical to the lowest of us. I do not mean to say that the existence of
these signs implies that all is as it ought to be in our spiritual life; but
that is shows we are alive, advancing, and in the way of grace: and the possession
of any one of these signs is something unspeakably more precious than the best
and highest gift earth can give. I
repeat, if we have one of these signs it is well; if two, better; if three,
better still; if four, capital; if all five, glorious. Now see!
We have made a little way. We are
further into the wilderness; and if as footsore as ever, at least a trifle less
fainthearted.
What a perfect spiritual reading for today! I've been having lots and lots of ups and downs in my spiritual life at present, this gives me a nice "measuring stick" to guide my steps.
ReplyDeleteThank you for posting this, Rita!
Catherine
frugallyfancyfarmlass.blogspot.com
Dear Catherine,
DeleteI am so glad to hear that this helped you!
I love it when God uses the people around us to help sustain and support us. :-)
God bless!
Rita