HOW A LADY SHOULD ACT WHEN A PLACED IN A SITUATION WHERE SHE MUST BE INDEPENDENT

For Women Who Have No Choice but to Be Independent

I received a number of comments on my last article from women who wanted to know what they should do if they were made independent from the help and support of family and relatives -by no choice of their own. 

We must keep in mind that there are exceptions to almost every rule and guideline.  A concession is given to women whom God, in the perfect knowledge of what is best for their particular soul, puts in unnatural circumstances.

A few examples of such situations are:

-1- An unmarried girl who has no family or relatives, or those she has are so evil that being around them constantly causes her to sin grievously…

-2- A married woman’s husband dies and she has no one else to turn to for support…

-3- A poor family cannot survive only on the income of just the father, so the mother also takes a job…

Living Alone

In the rare circumstance that a woman has absolutely no family, relatives, or anyone she can depend on; she has then been put in a position where she no longer has the choice to be dependent as most other women do.  

Since this was not done by her free will, the conclusion follows that she would not held responsible for being in such a situation; as would others who try to make themselves independent without a good reason.  And if she struggles her best to trust in God, remain faithful to Him, and avoid all unnecessary evils; He will surely give her the necessary graces to make ends meet and protect her from the dangers in the world.

Yet, even still, she ought not to be totally independent, if this is possible.  She should try to find a trustworthy confessor to guide her and have solid friends around her to keep her from shutting out good advice and shifting over to the opinions of the world, the flesh and the devil.

If an unmarried girl or woman is left without family, she should try to find an honest and reliable family member who can help guide and support her.  There are many families out there who would be more than grateful to give someone room and board, and take them into their family in exchange for a little help. It is most important; however, to be sure that the family is trustworthy – or living with them may also become a danger to her soul.

Sometimes the husband of a woman dies, and she has many children in her care, with no family to help her or means to support them.  In such a case, perhaps she should consider praying to God and asking Him whether He may wish for her to remarry. 

If none of the foresaid examples are possible for a particular married or unmarried girl or woman, she should try to find another girl or woman to live with who is, ideally, of the same Faith and is morally sound.

In the case even this last resort is also no possible, and a woman has tried her best to find a solid foundation of help from others; she ought to pray, fight as best she can, and humbly leave everything else in God’s Hands.  For, nothing can happen to us without God’s consent, and He will never allow us to be tested beyond our strength when we humbly trust in Him.

Working in the World

For women who have no choice but to find a job in the world, here are some things to consider.

1- She should apply only for jobs which will not endanger her virtue (ie avoid working at bars or places where immoral people are often likely to be). 

2- Preferably, her job should be one befitting of a woman, such as being a clerk, seamstress, nursing, etc. (rather than jobs like joining the army, carrying heavy equipment etc.)

-3- She should avoid working in situations where there are mostly men - this can even be a job as a secretary in a company that is usually men - engineers, etc.

-4- And if possible, she should try and find a job where a trustworthy friend or family member already works, so that she can have backup and support against the dangers and enticements of world.

Perfect Obedience

In the rare case that a woman’s parents, husband, or superior tell her to do something which is against the commandments of God; she is no longer bound to listen to them.  In fact, she is obliged not to, and must say, as did Saint Joan of Arc, “God first served”.  Yet, in all other cases, she ought not only be obedient but do everything that she thinks might be wished of her.

Final Conclusion

If women find themselves, without a choice, bound to live, work or act independently from the advice, council and support of others; they should do their part to remain in His grace and avoid, as much as possible, all near occasions of sin.  Then God will certainly give them the necessary graces to persevere in His grace, and protect them Himself from the many dangers of the world.